Last night during Youth Group I got to do a heartwarming thing - I got to help a young autistic man join the youth group and take the first step to overcoming some of his fears.
It started out in the van. He didn't want to come in. The other kids are big! It was a new situation. I believe there has also been another experience with a youth group that didn't go very well, so we had that to overcome, too.
I used my new iPhone apps to reward him for entering the building. He was willing to enter if he could play those games. We sat in chairs near the door and played for a while. We stood in the doorway to Youth Group and played a little while.
Now he wanted to do something on one of the apps that meant another level - I used it to get him inside the room, then again, used another level to get him to sit with the group.
Now, this whole time he is not paying ANY attention to what is going on around him. He is totally and absolutely engrossed in the games, and avoiding the group in his own way. Is this how I want it to be each week, of course not! Next week the play is to enter the building with no tears or fighting so that he can play on my phone. The next week we will make a new challenge to work for. Each week will bring him closer and closer to interaction, then we will work on social skills within the group.
You may think that this is a lot of work to go through for a kid. It is. But it is exactly what each of us should be doing for those around us every day! This guy I am working with has an identified condition that causes his resistance, but the people you work with and shop with and live near have their resistances too! Why don't they come into a church?
I visited with a waitress while on her break who said her husband is extremely bright and a strong believer, but won't step foot in a church - why? - judgment. He is highly tattooed and doesn't want to be judged. He has been judged. He has reason for his resistance. What do we do to reach this man?
Church-goers have been labeled many things by those who are resistant - hypocritical - judgmental - weak - fools - fanatics - the list goes on. How do we reach these people? How do we get them to make the first step of getting through the front door without losing them the same week through the back door?
Relationship
Time
Hard Work
Just like the work I did with my young friend last night, we all need to work to reach those in our area of influence! Build relationships with the unsaved! Spend time with them doing what they like (to a limit, of course!) Get to know them. Find out what they like and dislike. Get to know their idiosyncrasies and their strengths. I had spent time with my friend and knew a little bit about him. I knew what some of his like and dislikes were and where he is strong and some of what will make him more uneasy. I used these things while I worked with him.
Time - spend time not only with them, but in preparing and planning. I downloaded apps to help my friend. I spoke to mom. I arrived early so I would be there when he arrived. I thought through a plan of attack and some alternatives to turn to. You, too, can prepare and plan. Use your knowledge of the person to plan an event at church that will allow him/her to interact with the local church community without stress. Take advantage of needs - ask him/her to help with an outreach event or a service project where the skills he/she possesses can be an asset.
Hard Work - one time is not going to do it. Once inside the door your job is not done. Continue to walk beside and stretch your friend little by little. Some people are touched and make large gains immediately upon spending time in the presence of the Holy Spirit, but most are going to sit and soak it all up a little at a time. First get them in the door. God will work from there as long as your relationship and time continue. For my friend, it may take until summer to get him to a point where he is comfortable entering, interacting, and paying attention to the teaching and the other kids. Your friend may take more time or less time - but you have to be willing to continue the hard work of prayer, relationship, and time to get the job done.
So I challenge you - pray and ask God to help you pick a person - pray - begin to cultivate a relationship - pray - and work through the resistances and walk that person back to God. You will never be sorry for the time you spend!
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